Fight for Love, by Rosie Makinney

According to Rosie Makinney (and many others), porn use is rampant in society, marriages, and even among Christians.  She married someone addicted to porn and they struggled through it together, healing their marriage and going on to help many other couples.  In Fight for Love: How to Take Your Marriage Back from Porn, she offers hope for escape from the cycle of porn in marriages.  Speaking from her own experience and the experiences of many others she and her husband have counseled and met, she shows a path to healing and reconciliation.

Makinney is adamant about a few things.  First of all, no matter what defense one might make of the industry or of particular genres of porn, she writes that "there is no way that pornographic use can be considered acceptable in the eyes of God."  Sexual immorality is roundly condemned throughout the Old and New Testaments, and Jesus leaves little question when he says that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery in his heart.

Writing from a Christian, biblical perspective, Makinney calls on the church to own up to the issue of porn, speak openly about it, and offer paths to healing.  According to one survey she cites, "at least 78.8 percent of all men that attend evangelical churches watch pornography. . . . Sixty-four percent of all Christian families have an acute problem with pornography."  Yet churches, for the most part, are silent or uninvolved in leading men (and women) out of the traps of porn.  Churches have to be willing to "publicly show the world that Christians are just as tempted by porn as they are!"  The response, though is key: to show that "we have a great hope in Christ."

Makinney is very positive and hopeful, not condemning at all but encouraging and empathetic.  I did wonder about the disconnect between her numbers and the reality I observe in church life.  Here's my question: if a strong majority of Christians are using porn, why are churches not full of broken down marriages?  I mean, I know there are broken marriages in churches, obviously, and many couples become skilled at covering up their problems.  But if 3/4 of evangelicals are using porn, it makes me wonder if there's a continuum of users, from those whose marriages are basically unaffected and pretty healthy, to the worst cases whose marriages and lives fall apart due to porn use.  I think of a parallel to drugs and alcohol use, a continuum from the social drinker to the functional alcoholic to the addict who destroys his life with drugs and drink.  Nevertheless, whatever the degree of dysfunction that porn has introduced into a marriage, Makinney has help, and Jesus brings hope.


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!