Consent, by Donna Freitas

When Donna Freitas was a graduate student, one of the leading professors in her field, who is also a priest, developed a crush on her and relentlessly pursued her and stalked her.  In Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention, Freitas tells her strange, troubling story. 

At first, she was happy to be in his class.  He was a leading expert, renowned in his field, and she knew it was a privilege to be under his tutelage.  She frequently took advantage of his office hours, and was thrilled to gain his attention and interest in her academic work.  But then he began to seek more personal interactions, and his interest became more flirtatious and too personal.  As she tried to draw back from the relationship, he began to impose himself even more into her life.

In many ways, he was careful to behave in ways that would seem innocent.  A personal note, a phone conversation with Freitas's mom, a "chance" meeting--these things alone seem totally appropriate.  But when added up and repeated for a long period of time, it became a pattern of unwelcome attention, far beyond the accepted norms of professor/student or male/female relationship.  Freitas found herself in a bind because of the power her professor could wield over her professional future in her academic field. 

This is a fascinating story, but ultimately I kept asking myself, Why didn't she do something sooner?  Why didn't she say anything to other professors or administrators?  Of course, she asks herself the same things.  Her inaction was, in part, due to the slow, relentless way he wormed himself into her life.  To her credit, she grew in strength and confidence to the point that she could speak up and advocate for other women (and, presumably, men) in similar situations.  (Although I am so curious to hear his side of the story.  He remains anonymous.)

As a reader, this book grew tiresome to me.  As much as I know I shouldn't say this, she comes across as whiny for much of the book.  It's just a bit annoying.  Also, if you anticipate a thoughtful, broad look at consent, Title IX, rape, and sexual assault and harassment on college campuses, this is not the book.  I'm not saying Freitas's case is totally unique, but it seems like an unusual case that is not representative of other Title IX type cases around the country.  So I feel bad for what Freitas went through, but I don't feel enlightened on the overall issue.


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!