I Can't Believe You Just Said That, by Ginger Hubbard

Ginger Hubbard, an experienced mother who spreads her motherly wisdom via speaking events and writing, knows that "a defiled heart . . . brings forth sinful words."  Her teaching on parenting focuses on leading children to trust in God and obey his word.  "The best thing a parent can do is to take every opportunity to point their children to Christ and his power to transform lives."  In her new book I Cant' Believe You Just Said That: Biblical Wisdom for Taming Your Child's Tongue, she leads and teaches by example.

The book is basically an expansion of her "Wise Words for Moms" chart.  (You can order the chart from her here.  You view a sample of it here.)  The concept of the chart and the book is simple: for a given verbal behavior, like whining, lying, tattling, bragging, etc., the parent will ask heart-probing questions, discuss scriptures that address the behavior or attitude, and discuss replacement behaviors.  The book covers fifteen behaviors and attitudes, but the principle can be applied widely.

I love her approach.  This puts the onus of correction on scripture, not on the whims or wisdom (or lack of wisdom) of the parent.  It helps the parent "look past the outward behavior . . . and concern herself with the issues of the heart."  Ultimately, "when we use God's Word rather than our words for training our children, we are relying on God's wisdom rather than our own."

The demand on the parent is preparation, which is where her chart comes in handy.  Identifying the heart issue, finding the right probing questions, and referring to appropriate scriptures can take some practice and patience on the parent's part.  Most of us respond too quickly and too harshly, and only after the fact think of the patient, wise, character-building response we should have had.

I was not surprised to read that one of her primary influences in shaping her ideas about parenthood was Tedd Tripp, whose book Shepherding a Child's Heart is all about shaping character and not just dictating behavior.  Hubbard continues in that tradition and presents a practical, workable, child-centered, positive, character-building resource.  Parents, check it out.


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!