Choosing Joy, by Helen Berger

Helen Berger spent the last years of her marriage to Ady Berger caring for him as he lived with Alzheimer's and its effects.  In Choosing Joy: Alzheimer's: A Book of Hope, she recounts her experiences and offers a sympathetic voice of comfort, hope, and advice.

The theme that stood out the most to me is the Berger's love and affection for each other.  Helen never wavered in her commitment to Ady, and Ady never ceased showing his affection for her, writing her daily notes, always acting as a gentleman when they were out.  The disease did not lessen his sweet, loving nature.  In her case, even with the changing nature of their relationship, she writes "my love for Ady during those six years not only did not diminish, it actually grew."

Helen's commitment to Ady included not giving up on his ability to grow and fight the effects of the disease.  She considered it her mission "to do everything in my power to slow the process of decline and give my husband the greatest fulness of life."  Over the years, she saw a "shocking but indisputable improvement in Ady's memory and functioning."  Even in the waning months of Ady's life, she saw improvements in his cognition.  Her experience, in some ways, contradicts the medical literature on Alzheimer's, but she testifies that due to "constant mental stimulation, love, appreciation, and a nurturing, conflict-free, calm environment" Ady was able to achieve a level of regeneration.

Besides talking about her own experiences and her relationship with Ady, Helen has practical advice for caregivers.  She clearly is not a medical professional, and doesn't claim to be, but her insights on diet, exercise, and lifestyle are worthy of consideration.  She also has insights on selecting and managing caregivers and home health aids, navigating doctor visits and emergency care, and planning the logistics of day-to-day life.

Helen and Ady may have had a charmed relationship, and they clearly have financial means that many families don't.  But no matter what your circumstances or relationship, Helen offers a perspective that caregivers will find worth reading.  If a loved one or family member is living with Alzheimer's, Choosing Joy is worth your time.


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!