The Sex Myth, by Rachel Hills

Rachel Hills said she learned about sex as a teenager by reading Cosmopolitan.  Based on the headlines I see at the grocery checkout line, that's a shaky foundation.  In The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Reality, she explores the myths portrayed by Cosmo and other elements of pop culture and gives her assessment of sexual mores today.

In her efforts to be open and nonjudgmental, Hills tends to promote a no-holds-barred hedonism.  In her mind, sex used to be a secret, dirty thing that no one talked about and that was only supposed to happen for reproduction.  Now it is an open, public act that should be talked about, practiced, experimented with, and portrayed however, whenever, and with whomever one likes.  She tempers her position a bit by saying that there should be no shame in having no or very little sex, but her complete rejection of taboo and long-held cultural norms is disturbing.

Hills makes the error of caricaturing past views of sex, rolling in religious views with the past.  She needs to recognize the traditional Christian view: sex is for reproduction and pleasure, monogamy leads to greater sexual satisfaction in life, and the negative social, physical, and psychological costs of non-marital, non-monogamous sex are great.  (Granted, some Christians have taught a more repressive view of sex, but that no longer seems to be the norm, if it ever was.)

To Hill and her many interview subjects, there are no limits to the experimenting and coupling that one might pursue.  Alas, part of the "sex myth" is that one finds that most people are having a lot less sex than you think they are.  Also, it's not as big a deal as Cosmo and all those rom-coms make it out to be.  Hill tries to take the mystery and forbiddenness out of sex and describe it as just another bodily function that one may or may not participate in, and if one does, one may participate in any manner he or she pleases.

I just don't see a lot of value in The Sex Myth.  Maybe it gives a journalistic perspective on current sexual practices among the millennial generation, but she gives no indication that her interviews are anything more than randomly selected, anecdotal accounts.  Her presentation is far from being a representative sampling.  So, not much insight, moral vacuity, and no great conclusions.  Pass.


Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!