The Opposite of Spoiled, by Ron Lieber

Nobody wants their kids to be spoiled.  New York Times columnist Ron Lieber wants to help.  The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who are Grounded, Generous, and Smart about Money provides some principles and guidelines for parents to think about as they talk about money with their kids.  And as Lieber says, talking about money is a great place to start.  So many parents keep their kids financially in the dark, either out of a desire to avoid boasting and pride or to protect the kids from financial worries.  But Lieber wants parents to "promise to our kids that we will make them better at money than we are."

Lieber recognizes that there's not a good word for the opposite of spoiled as we use the word to describe spoiled kids.  So he starts by describing spoiled kids.  They have few chores, few rules, doting parents, and lots of material possessions.  As any parent of any socio-economic level will recognize, these traits are not found exclusively among children in wealthy families.  In The Opposite of Spoiled he attempts to describe the "values and virtues and character traits" that "collectively add up to the kind of grounded, decent young adults that every parent hopes to send out into the world."

Of course the quality of being spoiled doesn't have only to do with financial matters, but that's where Lieber keeps his focus.  As the cover illustrates, Lieber is a big fan of the three-jar, save/spend/give plan.  Even at a young age, kids can learn to make choices and think in terms of budgeting.  One principle I especially liked is the Fun Ratio: before we (or the kids) spend money on things we want, we can "estimate the hours of fun per dollar that any Want of theirs might provide."  An expensive electronic toy that a kid only plays with a couple times might deliver very little fun per dollar, while an expensive video game that kids play for hours over many months or years deliver lots of fun per dollar.

Lieber also encourages the promotion of a lifestyle of giving and generosity.  It starts with an awareness of and appreciation for the high level of wealth and privilege enjoyed by almost any American family, when compared to the rest of the world.  More than that, Lieber calls for parents to foster a recognition of needs around them and the potential we have to assist others.

Lieber interviews and tells stories from a variety of families at different levels of wealth and income, but  he definitely leans toward the upper end of the spectrum.  That mild criticism aside, many families will be encouraged to start conversations with their kids and take active steps to change their thinking about money and maybe even shape their character.


Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!