Pastor and counselor Brad Hambrick has one big message in his short book Romantic Conflict: Embracing Desires That Bless Not Bruise. He takes Jesus' words in Luke 9:23-24 and applies them to marriage. Hambrick writes that "there is no such thing as a good, married Christian who is a bad spouse. . . . A good Christ-follower is, by definition, a good spouse-lover."
Having a successful marriage, and working through inevitable conflicts in marriage, is a function of the extent to which we deny ourselves and follow Jesus. It is all too easy to focus on finding fulfillment in our spouse and the gift of marriage "rather than in our relationship with God." We want the abundant life "in the good things he provides for us rather than in the simple and transforming privilege of knowing him."
Hambrick encourages the reader to "eliminate the life-seeking (but death-creating) patterns we fall into as we serve our overgrown desires." Rather, we should serve and love our spouses selflessly, and as we do, "you will find that God is fulfilling his promise to you at the same time. . . . You will discover that you have found the "life" (enjoyment) you thought you were sacrificing."
Living a life sold out to following Jesus, and being a husband sold out to selflessly serving my wife, results in full life and a happier marriage. Simple, yes. Easy, no. True, for sure.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!
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