Trey Gowdy served in the U.S. Congress for 8 years, gaining national prominence for his role in the Benghazi hearings. Drawing on his years in Congress and his career as a prosecutor, he has written Don't Hurt to Ask: Using the Power of Questions to Communicate, Connect, and Persuade. While the work of a prosecutor or a congressman chairing a hearing could be described as winning arguments, Gowdy said that in congress he "realized persuasion is not about winning arguments--it's about effectively and efficiently advocating for what it is you believe to be true." He writes that by asking "the right set of questions," you can direct someone to "arrive at the point you are trying to make on their own accord."
Gowdy's persuasive chops were honed in courtroom and in Congress. The examples he gives and the stories he tells draw from that experience, including cases he has prosecuted. He also tells stories from the congressional hearings that made him a household name. The main thrust of the book, however, is not a memoir of his life as a lawyer and congressman, but to describe principles that we can use in non-lawyer and non-lawmaker settings.
One lesson Gowdy learned in Washington is that South Carolina is a much more conservative place than D.C. and that heading to Congress with an expectation of gaining consensus is "not only a silly expectation, it's a disrespectful one." He learned not to seek or expect consensus but that "commonality is an admirable and reasonable" expectation.
Gowdy is a funny, self-effacing writer, so you can read this for his personality and stories. Some of his personal stories, like talking football with his brother-in-law or deflecting political questions from his golf buddies, are hilarious. But more than that, he really does give tools and ideas for questioning and persuading. Whatever role we are in, even if not in a courtroom or hearing room, his ideas will help you persuade and communicate.
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