Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World, by Jill Rigby

If you're like me, you can use all the help and reminders you can get when it comes to parenting.  And if you're like me, you've read plenty of parenting books and still feel like you will never master the art of raising kids.  Jill Rigby, well-known for her character education curriculum "Manners of the Heart," has updated her 2006 book Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World and has plenty to say to parents of children of all ages.

Rigby does not seem to be any more encouraged today about the level of disrespect in the world today than when she first published this book in  2006.  To be clear, she does not buy into the false respect of the self-esteem strand of education and parenting.  True self-respect is other-centered, and is grounded in parental discipline and guidance.  The task is made more difficult by the fact that whereas in the past, "parents could raise their children with the assurance of support from the culture norms," by contrast "today, parents must raise their children in opposition to the cultural norms."  This includes, of course, media, but extends beyond that to the ways in which people interact.

I should point out that Rigby's emphasis on manners (at least in this book--I have not seen the curriculum her organization produces) is not all about which fork to use and how to address a visiting dignitary.  She writes, "When we teach our children to be well-mannered, we are teaching them to focus on others, and on how others feel and what others need.  Manners help kids to grow up believing it's more about others and less about me."

I appreciated Rigby's tone, her use of scripture (She is clearly a Christian, but the principles she writes about apply to all children.  I would not think a non-Christian would be put off by her message.), and her practical guidelines.  Some readers, especially those who have read a few parenting books, will feel like they've read some of this before, but I think parenting experts as well as newbies will benefit from Rigby's book.



Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!