Unholy Night, by Seth Grahame-Smith

Just in time for Christmas, here's a novelization of the Christmas story that will, well, it will make you look at the Three Wise Men in a little bit different light.  Think less contemplative mystics and more Three Musketeers.  No surprise, Seth Grahame-Smith plays fast and loose with history in Unholy Night, but he does so in a way that respects the source.

This was my first taste of Grahame-Smith's work.  You only have to read the titles of his other novels, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, to get the idea that he's not your typical writer of historical fiction.  In Unholy Night, we meet Balthazar, otherwise known as the infamous thief, "The Antioch Ghost."  He's captured, and thrown into prison with a couple of other thiefs, the three of them to be executed the next day.

True to his reputation as a notorious criminal, he escapes, bringing his two new companions with him.  On the run from Herod's soldiers, they flee to nearby Bethlehem, and seek refuge in a stable.  This is not how the New Testament seems to depict the three wise men's meeting with the holy family:

The wise men had poked their heads into the stable and surprised the breastfeeding girl.  With her scream still ringing in their ears, the carpenter had come out of nowhere and tried to stab them with a pitchfork.  Balthazar had, naturally, responded by grabbing the carpenter's throat and punching him in the face--blackening his right eye and bloodying his nose.

Balthazar and his friends stay the night with the holy family, and leave the next morning.  But at they are fleeing Bethlehem, Roman soldiers descend on the sleepy village.  Balthazar hears the screams from town as the soldiers, carrying out Herod's orders, attempt to kill all the male babies.  The three wise men return to the stable in the nick of time, killing some soldiers, and aiding Mary, Joseph, and Jesus in their flight from town.

Unholy Night mostly focuses on Balthazar's story: why he became a thief, his life mission of revenge, the love he lost.  His role as defender and protector of the savior of the world plays into all of that, as he is the leading man in the holy family's flight to Egypt.  This story isn't going to impress many biblical scholars, and you while you won't think, "This is what probably did happen," Grahame-Smith is a skillful enough writer, with enough attention to historical detail, that you might think, "It probably didn't happen that way, but it really could have!"

I have no idea if Grahame-Smith is a Christian.  I am quite sure this book will not be on the shelves of your local Christian bookstore.  (The frequent and graphic depictions of violence and the suggestive depictions of Herod's depravity would be enough to get it censored, theology aside.)  Regardless, I think Unholy Night is a novel that Christians can embrace and enjoy.  In my view, Grahame-Smith honors the Christmas story of the New Testament, respects Jesus, his birth, and his flight to Egypt, and gives credit to God for his miraculous role.  Plus he tells an exciting, rollicking story!