Sunday, November 11, 2012

Louder Than Words, by Jenny McCarthy

I have such mixed feelings about this book.  Jenny McCarthy, Playboy playmate, MTV vj, actress, and now best-selling author, is well know for her comedic TV roles, and, let's face it, for her Playboy appearances.  She again bares herself (figuratively) in her books, where she tells funny stories about her life as a mom and wife.  In Louder Than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Autism, her usual material takes a different turn when her son is diagnosed with autism.  The result is a book not without some laughs, giving her honest description of her personal struggles and her fight to get her son the best care possible.

First, the good.  McCarthy is a model for parents in her determination not to give up.  When she felt like the doctors were off in their assessment, ignoring signs she was seeing, or brushing aside her complaints, she pressed on, finding other doctors and doing research on her own.  As doctors have told my wife, they may be the medical experts, but she is the expert on her child.  Parents and doctors have to work together to find answers.

Jenny McCarthy with her clothes on.
So using her celebrity (such as it is), McCarthy can be an inspiration to many parents who might not pick up a medical book or a book by someone they don't know, and will find some good help here as they seek answers for their own child's autism.  One of her big themes is diet.  She found that feeding her son a gluten-free diet made a world of difference for him.  She also suspects that vaccines may have contribute to his autism.  I like her common-sense approach here.  She is not calling for everyone to stop giving their children vaccines.  She simply wonders why, when there is some evidence that certain children may have a negative reaction to a vaccine, there can't be a test for allergies or an option to wait until they are older.  That seems reasonable enough to me.

For all the good sense and inspiration, McCarthy still comes across as a spoiled Hollywood bimbo.  She  whines that people think celebrities don't have struggles in life.  Has she seen supermarket tabloids lately?  They have struggles and make sure their publicist tells us all about it!  Then she talks about dropping $5000 for a heart monitor to use at home, setting up an elaborate video monitoring system, which includes a 40" TV by her bed, for watching her son, and waving her credit card around to charter a $7000 one-way plane trip to go home when her son was having a seizure.  She lists all the expenses for therapy and medical care, and bemoans the fact that she has to flash her cleavage for a photo shoot to pay the bills.  Give me a break.  Then after her husband moves out and she's back on the dating scene, this almost-40-year-old mom starts pining over some guy she meets, sounding like a teenager.  She can't wait for her son to get over the flu so she can go make out on the couch with dream boy.  By the way, several times she refers to her nanny.  Sorry, Jenny, many of us can relate to what you're going through with your son, but most of us don't have the resources you take for granted.

I also felt a little sorry for her mixed-up religious attitude.  Raised a Catholic, she is constantly praying to God for help, as well as a few prayers to Mary and Michael, the archangel (or maybe it was another angel).  But when things get really bad, she has some Indian shamans do some kind of chanting, and invites Mormon missionaries to pray for his healing.  She also refers to Tarot cards for guidance.  I don't know, it sounds like she might need her priest to come over and give her a refresher course!

So there's good her and bad here.  If she reaches some of her fans with a message of hope for their children with autism, more power to her.  But there are much, much better resources out there for parents.




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