The Heart of the Fight, by Judith Wright and Bob Wright

As experienced marriage therapists, Judith Wright and Bob Wright know a thing or fifteen about fights married couples have.  In The Heart of the Fight: A Couple's Guide to Fifteen Common Fights, What They Really Mean, and How They Can Bring You Closer, the Wrights write about fifteen common fights and help couples identify the yearnings that lead to fighting.  The hope, of course, as the title says, is that the fight can bring couples closer.

They write, "Couples don't get divorced because they fight; they split up because they don't know how to use conflict to create a new depth of intimacy."  Their goal is to help couples to see that "their fights aren't about the fight and dig deeper to see what it is that they truly yearn for, [so that] they are able to go into the metaphorical woods and use their bliss skills."  The jargon about yearnings and bliss makes much more sense in the context of the whole book.

For me, the book didn't feel like something I could relate to.  I couldn't relate to the couples the Wrights introduced, and the scenarios they described just didn't click with me.  My marriage isn't perfect, but my wife and I don't really fight.  The Wrights would probably say that's a big problem!  I have no doubt at all that were we to sit under their care for several sessions, they would help us uncover issues in our marriage and help us strengthen our bonds.  But the book didn't do it for me.

Not to say there's not useful information and techniques here.  I especially liked the advice on touching: "Never underestimate the power of the human touch to help get you through the fights in ways that are productive and growth oriented.  By touching, you trigger the feel-good hormone of oxytocin.  It increases the sense of well-being, trust, and being calm and connected."  My wife doesn't often read my book reviews.  But just in case she's reading this one, honey, I need some oxytocin!  Bring it on!  Let's cultivate some well-being, trust, calmness, and connection!  How about it?


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

2016 Reading Challenge: A book about marriage
#vtReadingChallenge

The Jezebel Remedy, by Martin Clark

Virginia circuit judge Martin Clark must have heard some good stories in his law career.  He writes some, too.  His latest, The Jezebel Remedy, follows the case of Lettie VanSandt, a nutty woman in a small Virginia town.  She is a serial legal client of Joe Stone, who listens to her crazy tales, and has for many years helped her with her patents, trusts, and silly lawsuits.  He tolerates her oddities, much to the chagrin of his wife and law partner Lisa Stone.

When Lettie is apparently blown up at her home, all signs point to a meth lab explosion.  Joe knows that's unlikely, but the community nods and thinks they finally know why she was so odd--it was the drugs.  When a scientist from a drug company shows up claiming that Lettie had developed a ground-breaking pharmaceutical treatment, the Stones get caught up in questions about Lettie's estate, the truth of the stranger's claims, and the mysterious meddlings of one of the world's richest men.

As you might expect, The Jezebel Remedy is good beach-read fiction.  It's a fun fast-paced story, which I can recommend to readers who enjoy legal fiction in the vein of Grisham et al.  I hated two things about the book, though.  First, after 20 years of marriage, Lisa starts sneaking around, dating another lawyer.  She even rendezvouses with him for a weekend in the Bahamas.  As a result, I hated her.  Her betrayal seemed so pointless and evil.  I know, it's just a character in a novel, but I was so angry with her that it seriously tainted my reading experience.  I guess I relate to Joe.  I'm a boring guy who is lucky to be married to a gorgeous woman who would be a catch for anyone.  Not that I suspect she is as duplicitous as Lisa.  I just felt for poor, boring, faithful Joe.

The second thing I hated was that this crazy woman, Lettie, would have actually come up with a viable and potentially very lucrative pharmaceutical product.  Again, it's fiction.  Works of fiction are full of fictional things.  And part of reading fiction is suspending belief.  It's a minor quibble, I know, but it added a scrim of silliness that slightly obscured the otherwise good story.  All of that said, even though I hated some things about The Jezebel Remedy, I enjoyed it and wouldn't mind reading some of Clark's other books.


Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

Consumed, by David Cronenberg

David Cronenberg has directed some movies that I found to be weird, memorable, and unlikeable, so I should not have been surprised that I would find his first novel, Consumed, to be weird, memorable, and unlikeable.

A French philosopher on the run, under suspicion for killing--and eating--his wife.  Their former students, whom the couple regularly invited into their bedroom.  A couple of international journalists who are covering the philosopher and the students, and who tend to get invited into their subjects' bedrooms.

Consumed is, at times, a clever, literate novel, but tries too hard on both counts.  Too clever by half, too literate by half.  When it's not clever and literate, it's tiresome.  Really tiresome.

Some subset of readers will like Consumed.  But it wasn't for me.


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

A Little Handbook for Preachers, by Mary Hulst

I'm not a preacher nor the son of a preacher, but I am a seminary graduate.  I've taken a few preaching classes and sat through my share of sermons.  Mary Hulst's A Little Handbook for Preachers: Ten Practical Ways to a Better Sermon by Sunday is great for preachers, but people in the pew will benefit as well.  I know I can use some help to be a better listener to sermons.

Hulst's Little Handbook is not as simplistic and "check-list-y" as it sounds.  The cover makes it look like she's offering quick fixes to touch up a sermon before delivery.  But Hulst gets to the heart of sermon content and preparation.  She makes a crucial distinction between "Christian speeches" and sermons.  I have certainly heard a few Christian speeches on Sundays.  She describes a Christian speech as "a spoken address on a particular topic that may or may not refer to Scripture."  By contrast, "a sermon is an oral event in which the speaker humbles him- or herself before the grand narrative of Scripture and, after seeking to understand what God is up to in a particular passage, invites the hearers to know God more."  Rather than using Scripture to prove our point, preachers should "read the text to hear what God has to say."  Amen to that.

In that same vein, Hulst draws a distinction between Bible class and the sermon.  "The difference between a Bible class and a sermon is that while a Bible class can impact what we know, a sermon needs to also impact how we live."  The art of preaching is to "create in our hearers a deeper desire to know and love God more."  To meet that goal, sermons should be "grace-full," talking less about "this is what you need to do" and more about "this is what we get to do" because of what God has done.  We relate to our listeners by being compelling, contextual, relevant, and embodied.  We should draw on the lives of our listeners, and not so much on our own lives, for illustrations of the message.

A Little Handbook is highly practical, and, properly applied, will give a preacher much to think about when preparing a sermon.  For my part, sitting in the pew, Hulst gives me much to think about, not in a critical way but in a constructive way.  I won't be preaching any time soon, but I will show more appreciation to my pastor and be sure to give him positive feedback.


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

2016 Reading Challenge: A book about preaching
#vtReadingChallenge

The Heart Goes Last, by Margaret Atwood

Margaret Atwood earned a touch of literary immortality with the oft-read The Handmaids Tail.  Since that award-winning novel was published in 1985, she has continued to write award-winning, sociologically challenging speculative fiction (a term she prefers to "science fiction").  Her 2015 novel The Heart Goes Last continues some of the themes of her earlier novels, but doesn't quite deliver the punch that her readers are accustomed to.

The Heart Goes Last is set in a company town.  Residents who have run out of luck in the economy at large are invited to move into Consilience, a secure compound in which they will work, have a place to live, and lack for nothing.  The catch is that for one month they will live and work freely at home, but every other month they have to be locked up in the prison on the grounds.

Things work out swimmingly for Stan and Charmaine for a while--until they don't.  Charmaine has a forbidden fling, and works hard to cover it while she keeps it going.  Meanwhile a rebellion is brewing in Consilience, and Charmaine gets wrapped up in it.  When they do leave Consilience, the weirdness and randomness spins too far out of control.

I did not enjoy The Heart Goes Last as much as I have some of Atwood's other fiction.  As original as she has been in her novels, this one felt more derivative, as if she had hopped on the bandwagon of post-apocalyptic teen fiction.  Granted, many of her novels can be classified as post-apocalyptic, but I hadn't felt the Hunger Games vibe in the others like I did with this one.  I also wasn't a big fan of her characters.  Charmaine's fling is so out of character.  Her lover and his co-conspirators seemed unconvincing to me.  Charmaine's husband, Stan, poor guy, has a rough time.  Justice is finally done, sort of, but I didn't particularly enjoy the path to get there.


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

Praying Together, by Megan Hill

It goes without saying--well, it should go without saying--that Christians ought to pray.  In Praying Together: The Priority and Privilege of Prayer in Our Homes, Communities, and Churches, Megan Hill calls Christians not only to pray, but to pray together.  Hill reminds us that prayer is a communal experience.  When we pray together, "we nurture our relationship with our triune God and with his people--a relationship that will never end."  When praying together, we are following the example and exhortation of the New Testament, which "tell us to pray together.  With everybody.  Everywhere.  About everything."

The fruit of praying together is "love, discipleship, and revival."  Hill tells stories of answered prayer and revivals sparked by prayer that you may not have heard of.  By its very nature, corporate prayer does not draw the same sort of attention that other forms of Christian activity might.  Hill points out that "contemporary Christianity is plagued by unbiblical elitism.  We esteem Christians who do stuff."  And we don't really look at prayer as doing something.  When we gather we tend to want to have more of an agenda than just "pray."

Praying Together is practical and convicting.  Many prayer meetings I have been in have been about prayer in name only.  Fellowship is important, as is teaching and preaching, but we need to pray together, too.  Hill writes that one benefit of structured corporate prayer time is the regularity of it.  Even if you don't feel like praying, you can show up and agree with the others.  She describes how to pray when you are the one speaking, and how to pray when you are listening to someone pray.

Prayer can be hard.  It's a discipline to learn and to practice.  But it's something we learn by doing together.  Children learn from their parents, praying at home.  We learn from each other in our prayer meetings.  Corporate prayer can bring us together with Christians from other traditions.  And most importantly, prayer brings us together into the presence of God.  Let us pray.


Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

2016 Reading Challenge: A book on prayer
#vtReadingChallenge

Failure, by Karl Stevens

The first thing to say about Karl Stevens's new collection Failure is that I really enjoyed his art.  He realistic, sketch-based style is appealing and approachable.  Failure contains examples of a comic strip he wrote for a Boston alternative weekly paper, as well as some of his sketches and other art.  He's an artist with a gift.

On the other hand, most of the actual subject matter content of Failure I could do without.  His target audience is hip, urban 20-somethings.  I'm a few years (OK, a couple decades) out of that age group, and I never really was "hip" or "urban."  If you consider yourself hip, urban, slacker-intellectual, artsy, weed-smoking, heavily drinking, sleeping around, and use lots of foul language, then Failure is a collection you will relate to and enjoy.  It just wasn't for me.

But I did get a kick out of Pope Cat.

Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!