Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World, by Kristen Welch

I try to be grateful.  But there's too much entitlement culture in me; it leaks out.  Now I'm trying to raise my kids to be grateful, but I'm afraid culture is more entitled today than when I was a kid.  To help me and other entitled parents get their heads on straight, Kristen Welch has written Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World: How One Family Learned That Saying No Can Lead to Life's Biggest Yes.

Welch, author, blogger, and, most importantly, mother, compiles excellent wisdom on parenting.  She states up front that she's no psychologist, but between her own experiences and her sources, she puts together a worthwhile set of guidelines.

Of course it all starts with the parents: "Parents who want less entitled kids have to be less entitled themselves, and parents who want to raise more grateful kids need to start by living more grateful lives."  We all want our kids to be happy and safe, but "when we try to protect our kids from unhappiness, we make life down the road harder for them.  It can be summed up in one word--entitlement."

As it turns out, "Sometimes the best way to help our kids is to not help them."  They can learn to help themselves.  Another element of that is that we can help them learn to help others.  We need all the help we can get with that, because "When we focus all our time and attention on our own needs, it's really hard to see the needs of other people."  Welch points out that those who focus on other people are happier in the long run.

As I said, Welch is a blogger, and many of her sources are other bloggers.  So as you might expect, she has not written an academic treatise or psychology-based parenting manual.  What she gives us is practical wisdom, gleaned from a variety of families' experiences.  She is not shy about sharing her own family's mishaps and habits.  With her honesty, she encourages the rest of us to stop and think about the values we are instilling in our children.

Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the electronic review copy!

2016 Reading Challenge: A book about parenting
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Prez Vol. 1, by Mark Russell

In Mark Russell's alternative future, the voting public gets fed up with the candidates of the two major parties and rejects both of them.  Through a combination of brief YouTube infamy and a the elimination of the age requirement, Beth Ross, a 19-year-old corn dog chef, gets herself elected President of the United States.

President Ross handles the challenges of the presidency with aplomb, facing down the rampant cat flu, shutting down the robot soldier program, and angering politicians of the left and right.  Society subsequently breaks down, she goes on the run, and is targeted by cat flu virus defenders.

The art is decent, but the story is silly, the politics are very silly, and the overall reading experience is mediocre.  I'm sure President Ross will find some fans, but I won't be looking for the next issue.



Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto, by Mitch Albom

Mitch Albom can tell a story!  His fiction and nonfiction writing has been warmly received and widely read.  He tells another good one in The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto.  Frankie, a Spanish orphan, becomes the star pupil of a reclusive, blind guitar player.  With the aid of some magic strings, a gift from a band of gypsies, he becomes one of the world's greatest guitar players and a top rock and roll star in the early days of the genre.

Frankie's life and times read like a guided tour of music history in second half of the twentieth century.  He jams with jazz greats, stands in for Elvis (fooling the crowd), parties with the Beatles, plays a legendary solo at Woodstock, and becomes teacher and guitar guru to other great guitar players.

But the magic strings are about more than music.  They teach Frankie how his life touches others.  After his inauspicious beginnings, his erratic lifestyle moves from continent to continent, with seemingly random meetings and coincidences shaping his life.  Albom doesn't dwell on the unlikely--no one can live like that (Can they?)--but delves into Frankie's character and the people and music that shape him.

Magic Strings primarily narrated by Music, the personified, omniscient entity.  Music shares plenty of musical wisdom and speaks lovingly of Music's disciples.  Throughout the book, other musicians who knew Frankie and played with him give their perspectives, as well.  I enjoyed the way Albom makes me believe Frankie was a real person, as real musicians make their cameos and tell their stories.

I was inspired by the music, which is weird to say since it's a book.  Albom's descriptions of Frankie's playing and performing brings the music alive, in away.  I was also moved by Frankie's life and love affair with music.  I have never loved music the way Frankie did, but I have been the beneficiary of that love as I have enjoyed the music of the Frankies of the world.


Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

2016 Reading Challenge: A book about music
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The Absence of Guilt, by Mark Gimenez

It's a good day when I get an e-mail from Mark Gimenez announcing a new novel!  I look forward to each new legal thriller from this Texas writer, and he has yet to disappoint.  The Absence of Guilt is as fresh as the latest CNN news crawl and as suspenseful as a season of 24.  Fans of Gimenez's earlier novels will welcome the return of A. Scott Fenney, now a Federal judge.  We catch up with his daughters, some of his admirers (and detractors) in Highland Park, and his legal team.  We also learn the fate of his ex-wife in a cameo appearance.

More important than the reunion is the story of a terrorist threat to destroy the Dallas Cowboys's stadium during the Superbowl.  (This is how you know The Absence of Guilt is pure fantasy: Gimenez has Tony Romo leading the Cowboys to a Superbowl appearance!)  A bunch of local Muslims are rounded up and appear in Fenney's court.  The trouble is, the government can't present a single piece of evidence tying the Muslims to a plot.  Fenney has to rule on whether they can be held in custody, at least until after the Superbowl.

Gimenez's readers won't be surprised that he doesn't take a hard-line stance on the issues at hand. The Muslims don't elicit a lot of sympathy, but by presenting the extreme anti-Muslim point of view from some characters ("Islam is no longer a peaceful religion." "All Muslims are terrorists in waiting."), Gimenez gives Fenney the chance to take a more moderate view. Fenney even learns that a trusted member of his staff is Muslim.

On another issue, Fenney is called on to rule in an immigration decision. Should immigrants be granted amnesty?  On both cases, Fenney has to balance his own opinion and emotional responses with political considerations and constitutional questions.  Gimenez includes several lengthy passages of arguments and Fenney's decisions that make for thoughtful, informative reading, but he never lets these passages get in the way of the story.

Gimenez has a gift for tying together real-world, present-day issues with engaging stories in such a way that the reader has to think about multiple aspects of the issues.  What seems to be black and white in many contexts ends up being not so clear in his novels.  One thing is for sure: we can count on Fenney to make the right call.  If Fenney keeps up the good work, he will land a spot on the Supreme Court.

(One other note that lets you know The Absence of Guilt is pure fantasy: Gimenez has Obama apologizing for releasing terrorists from Gitmo and taking the blame for the former prisoners going back to their ways as terrorist leaders.  I just can't see Obama saying, "That was my bad."  Gimenez apparently thinks more highly of Obama than I do! I think real-life Obama would more likely apologize to the Muslims for their imprisonment.)

Gimenez's readers will be delighted with The Absence of Guilt.  It's one of his best.  Fans of a good suspense novel with colorful, engaging characters and thoughtful, practical commentary on important current issues will similarly not be disappointed.  The only drawback is the wait for Gimenez's next book!

2016 Reading Challenge: A book by your favorite author
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Trouble I've Seen, by Drew G. I. Hart

Today (1/18/16) we, as a nation, celebrated the life and legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr.  Most of us probably just had a day off work (or grumbled about going to work on a government holiday).  Some African-Americans, and even some Americans of other ethnic groups, may have even had a special meal or gathering, went to a parade, or attended a public event.  Besides having the day off work, I read Drew G. I. Hart's book, Trouble I've Seen: Changing the Way the Church Views Racism.

The legacy of MLK and the civil rights movement is unquestionable.  Just ask my former manager (who has since been promoted).  Just ask the principal of the middle school where I once taught (who has since been promoted to the high school).  Just ask the young lady who is drum major of my son's high school marching band.  Just ask the policeman who lives around the corner.  Ask the many African American neighbors in my racially mixed, middle-class neighborhood.  They will attest to the opportunities that abound for African-Americans today that would have been unimaginable a generation or two in the past.

You probably don't want to ask many nationally-known African-American activists.  You probably don't want to ask the first African-American President of the United States. And you probably don't want to ask Drew G. I. Hart.  From them you would learn that American society is built on an irrevocably racist foundation.  That racism persists at every level of government, business, and society.

A fundamental issue is that American culture and economy is built on the theft of land, from Native Americans, and theft of labor, from African slaves.  Thus the United States is irretrievably racist.  Racism is entrenched in the very structure of our institutions.  Even with a black president, black CEOs, black millionaires, black doctors, lawyers, and university professors, white culture prevails.  Blacks succeed only to the extent that they embrace white culture.  This is Hart's perspective.

Trouble I've Seen is very personal and perceptive.  Besides his analysis of the inherent racism of society, much of what he writes is about his own experiences.  I appreciate hearing his viewpoint and have been challenged to reflect on my own views of race and my own interactions with African-Americans.  He writes that some of the worst racism he encountered was at the Christian college he attended.  Even in churches he has seen that intentionally include minorities on staff and in leadership positions, he perceives that white culture remains dominant, essentially drowning out any influence of black culture.

One episode that shaped him and epitomized the white dominant culture was a time he was pulled over by police.  He hadn't realized it, but his car's registration was overdue.  One policeman stopped him, then called for back up.  The two officers then approached his car with guns drawn, pointing them at him.  He literally feared for his life.  He kept his wits and recalled what he had been taught about how to behave when the police stop him.  They wrote him a ticket and left without incident.  He said that black youth are taught "to dehumanize ourselves in encounters with police just so we can stay alive."  So keeping your hands on the wheel and visible, speaking politely, and following officers' requests constitute "dehumanizing ourselves"?  To me that sounds like how anyone should respond when pulled over by police, black or white, guns drawn or not.

Hart refers to several well-publicized episodes in which African-American individuals have been targeted by police and others.  I wish Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown were still alive.  Both may have initially been confronted because of their skin color; that is debatable and deserves to be considered.  But in both cases, evidence indicates that they are dead because they violently responded to the confrontation.  Both would be alive today if they had chosen differently.

I know Hart would immediately discredit my perspective because I am white.  He would talk about the centuries of unjust treatment that lay the foundation for the neighborhood patrolman and the police officer to confront Martin and Brown.  But focusing on race (which of course is a sociological construct) rather than the actions of individuals does not help.

Racism is alive and well in the hearts of sinful men and women.  I am thankful that, in large part because of the leadership of Martin Luther King, Jr., and others I can have black friends, neighbors and coworkers.  My black son and I can eat in whatever restaurant we want, and he can go to college anywhere his grades can take him.  I won't deny that Hart and many African-Americans encounter racism, maybe every day.  I pray that God will continue to change the hearts of men and women, as he has already done for so many, so that he (and my son) will see a day when racism is a dim memory.



Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

2016 Reading Challenge: A book written by someone of a different ethnicity than you
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Good Things, by Kevin Gerald

God is good.  He loves us.  He wants to bless us.  That and more is clear in the scripture.  Kevin Gerald, pastor of Champions Centre in the Seattle area, wants you to know the goodness of God and claim his favor in your life.  Good Things: Seeing Your Life Through the Lens of God's Favor starts out with an audacious promise: once we become more aware of "the extent of God's favor" we can "begin to experience immediate benefits and blessings" (emphsis added).

The strength of Gerald's book is his emphasis on God's goodness.  God is for us!  God loves us more than we can understand; that is a constant theme of scripture.  Jesus paved the way for us to receive not only God's mercy, but also God's unearned favor.  I like the way Gerald draws the distinction between favor and mercy: "God's mercy doesn't give us what we deserve [the consequences of our sins].  God's favor gives us what we don't deserve [God's abounding and endless goodness on our lives]." (There I go adding emphasis again.)

Good Things alone does not give sufficient evidence to conclude that Gerald is a health and wealth, name it and claim it pastor.  I had never heard of him before picking up this book, and have never heard him preach.  A few minutes on the internet will reveal that he is pastor of a large, thriving congregation, and he is associated with other megachurch pastors, several of whom have received negative publicity for their large salaries and luxurious lifestyles.  I hesitate to draw conclusions based on the pastors with whom he associates.

In practical terms, Good Things is equal parts "power of positive thinking" and "name it, claim it."  You see, it's all about changing your perspective and attitude.  The challenges in your life don't mean you aren't receiving God's favor.  It may be that favor is "not yet visible, hidden by a process that can be painful."  In light of trouble, problems, setbacks, "Turn your mind toward favor and watch how favor data starts to appear. . . . An avalanche of ongoing favor that comes by consistently thinking favor!"  You have to "think favor-oriented thoughts."  We need to "use our prophetic voice to predict God's goodness," speaking "words of confidence in God's goodness and favor."

None of this is to say that I am totally disagreeing with Gerald.  I agree, God is good!  He loves me!  He wants to bless me, he has, is and will bless me!  But Gerald seems to be implying that if we don't experience God's favor, it's because we're not claiming it or acknowledging it.  This leaves the experience up to us, to our own attitudes and actions.  What is the difference between that and completely humanistic, pop-psychology self-affirmation?  God is bigger than that.  I guess I might as well try it so I can get some of those "immediate benefits and blessings" Gerald talks about.

(I do have to say, props to Gerald for including Isaiah Austin as an example of someone who proclaimed God's goodness and faithfulness during what could have been the darkest days of his life.  Isaiah is a great representative of Christ, of Baylor, and of the sport of basketball.  Sic 'em, Isaiah!)




Thanks to Blogging for Books and the publisher for the complimentary review copy!

2016 Reading Challenge: A book published in 2016
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Ghettoside, by Jill Leovy

There's a place called Ghettoside.  It has a culture and geography all its own.  People who live south of the Ten in L.A. know their world is different from the rest of America.  Here, black men murder black men, at a rate astronomically higher than the rest of the country.  Here, the law is the the law of the street; the LAPD has a herculean task to enforce the laws the rest of the country follows.  Into this mix journalist Jill Leovy embedded herself.  Ghettoside: A True Story of Murder in America is her account.

Leovy gives a fly-on-the-wall look into the LAPD's investigative unit in South Los Angeles.  She introduces the detectives, recounts their office politics and personal struggles, takes the reader into the interrogation room and the court room, and rides along on the city streets.  Her focus is the LAPD, but in the course of her telling, she gives insights into gang culture and street life.  For most readers, this alone will be enlightening.

Her story centers around the murder investigation of a detective's son.  While many LAPD cops in South Los Angeles chose to commute from the suburbs, Wally Tennelle lived right in the neighborhood he patrolled.  After years of investigating gangs, his work hit home when his own son was killed in a gang shooting.  Due to the dogged determination of his colleagues, the killers were found and sentenced.

Leovy tells personal stories, putting names and faces to statistics and stereotypes.  Reading something like this should be myth-dispelling.  But I found it to reinforce much of what is popularly believed about South L.A. and the monster of black-on-black violence.  Black men kill black men indiscriminately.  There's no way around it.  Their gangs are idiotic.  Murderous feuds get started over the most petty offenses: walking down the street with the wrong color bandanna hanging out of your pocket.  Wearing another team's baseball cap.  And they don't quit; conflicts escalate way out of proportion to the original offense.  It's incredibly stupid.  I fail to understand why these gang members fail to understand that the retaliatory way of life comes back to them.  They cause mourning; they will mourn.  Innocent victims get killed.

The strength of Leovy's book is that she focuses on the detectives who work amid this reality.  Tennelle's perspective was shaped by one detective's comment about a murdered prostitute: "She ain't a whore no more.  She some daddy's baby."  That became his philosophy.  "The homicide detective's call was to treat each victim, no matter how deep their criminal involvement, as the purest angel.  The murdered were inviolate."

Leovy reports instances of racism and indifference to residents of South LA among the LAPD.  But the main players in Ghettoside display a remarkable commitment to their jobs and, more importantly, to justice.  They share Tennelle's philosophy and express a desire for people who live Ghettoside to have the best police and best investigators as possible.  Just because a black man kills a black man doesn't mean the victim's family doesn't deserve compassion and a dogged determination to find the killer.

Ghettoside is eye-opening to readers who don't live in Ghettoside.  Leovy's attention to detail and sharp journalistic skills, not to mention her compassion and sense of justice, put the issue of black-on-black violence on the front burner.  Like the dedicated detectives of LAPD, we must not ignore the monster.




Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

2016 Reading Challenge: A book about a current issue
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