We Will Destroy Your Planet: An Alien's Guide to Conquering the Earth, by David McIntee and Miguel Coimbra

No one ever said that conquering or destroying another planet was easy, but it seems it's much harder than I thought.  Before any aliens jump into trying to take over the Earth, they would be wise to pick up a copy of David McIntee and Miguel Coimbra's handy book, We Will Destroy Your Planet: An Alien's Guide to Conquering the Earth.  I admit, I haven't given a lot of thought to what it would take to conquer Earth, but these guys bring up a ton of useful tips that I would never have considered.

Covering such topics as the initial invasion, combat on the planet itself, and controlling the population of humans (that is, if you choose not to annihilate them right away), the authors bring up helpful information for alien invaders to think about.  For instance, and you might have thought of this yourself, "the concealed position and potential availability of water on the far side of the Moon make it a sensible choice for a staging area or observation base, which can remain hidden from the Earth."  From that place of hiding you can plan your spaceborne assault, against which the Earth has no defense, lucky for you.  "The planet has no energy shielding, no starships, no minefield, and no detection or early warning grid for vessels entering the system," not to mention defense against "incursion from other spatial locations, alternative dimensions, or different eras."

But the initial invasion is only the beginning.  Humans are "aggressive and stubborn," and many will not tolerate the aliens.  They will attempt to "capture and reverse engineer your vehicles," which cannot be permitted.  On the other hand, aliens will need to adapt human vehicles for their own use, as alien vehicles will not naturally be ideal for Earth's varied terrain and atmosphere.  The aliens must consider fuel and materials needed, using what is available on Earth rather than bear the expense of transporting it across space.

McIntee and Coimbra have clearly read and watched a wide range of science fiction, some of which is explicitly referred to in the text.  Others are cleverly alluded to, allusions of which I am sure I missed many.  While I don't realistically see this guide falling into alien hands, as useful as it would be to them, I think it would be even more useful to writers of sci-fi.  They cover so many scenarios, in a matter-of-fact, factually based way, that a sci-fi writer would be well-advised to think through the scenarios and case studies laid out here.

There was a sense in which We Will Destroy Your Planet became too much of a good thing, a drawn out joke that took a terrifically clever idea and tried to keep it going for too long.  But more than that, I have a lot of respect for the depth to which these guys took the book.  It seriously can be a reference book for writers and fans of sci-fi, forcing us to think a little bit more deeply about what we read and see on the screen.  Of course, when we start telling our wives and girlfriends, "Now, see, that's not how it would really happen.  Didn't they think about this . . . .," they will look at us and say, "It's sci-fi, stupid.  This isn't real."  And we will nod, confident in the knowledge we have filed away.



Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy! 

Ack Ack Macaque, by Gareth Powell

Do you like an alternative future with giant dirigibles, a cigar-chomping monkey, and lots of shoot-em-up action?  Then Ack-Ack Macaque is right up your alley!  Gareth Powell introduces a United Kingdom that is slightly larger than the one we know.  Shortly after WW2, England and France decided they were better together and created an expanded kingdom.

Much of this history parallels ours, but several technological differences are evident.  Giant dirigibles travel the world, serving as a primary means of shipping, and existing as sovereign states.  Most significantly, the process of augmenting brain power is expanding, leading to the ability to give a monkey human-like intelligence, and to load a complete human personality into "gelware."

When the monkey, the crown prince, a dirigible captain, a journalist, and others team up to uncover and thwart a plot to usurp the throne (in a way), start a major world war, and reshape the human race, there is no shortage of adventure and action.  Powell writes with wit, an ear for action, and a snarky attitude.  The result is a thoroughly enjoyable adventure.

It's Never Too Late, by Dallas Clayton

"If today was the day that it all came crashing. . . ." what would you do?  That's what Dallas Clayton asks in his new picture book for grown-ups, It's Never Too Late.  Of course if the world were ending tomorrow, we wouldn't worry about the laundry and bills!  We would want to lie in the grass and hug the cat and call our friends.

With colorful, simple illustrations, Clayton's message is simple: life is about making the most of every moment, and taking time to give of ourselves to others.  Part of me embraces his perspective, but another part is troubled by this sort of message.  It too easily can morph into "The world might end tomorrow, so I don't have to take care of my responsibilities.  I don't have to do the laundry or pay the bills."

There is a balance to be struck here, but Clayton reminds us that "it's never too late, too late to begin, and today is the day the world might end."

Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

The First Phone Call from Heaven, by Mitch Albom

What if you picked up the phone and you heard the voice of a loved one who had passed away?  When a few people in Coldwater, Michigan started getting phone calls from their dead family members, there were plenty of skeptics, but the ones who got the calls had no doubt that they were hearing their loved ones' voices, and when word got out, the whole world wanted to hear more.

Mitch Albom is best know for his powerful non-fiction, especially Tuesdays with Morrie.  In The First Phone Call from Heaven, he has some fun imagining the impact a phone call from heaven might have. As word spread, pilgrims overran Coldwater, hoping for their own line to heaven.  While few got their call, and some complained about the traffic and inconvenience, "there was also talk about heaven.  And faith.  And God.  There were more prayers said than in years past.  More requests for forgiveness.  The volunteers for soup kitchens far exceeded the need."

Albom plays the calls along, hinting through the doubts of the main character that they may not be genuine, but leaving the reader little reason to think that they aren't for real.  He balances the mystery with the reality of lives changed.  The hardened reporter for the local paper reflects on whether the calls are good for Coldwater: "Let's see.  People are behaving better, eh?  We haven't even had a shoplifting incident since all this started. . . . [E]very seat in church is full.  People praying like never before.  So what do you think. . . ? Is it good?" Yet his cynicism causes him to doubt.

With his rich characterizations of both the individual players and of small-town life, Albom tells the kind of story he's known for, full of wisdom, a strong dose of sentimentality, and a warm feeling of satisfaction with the end.  The theology of the book leans a bit toward universalism, although he's not explicit about that.  Ironically, theology isn't really the point of the book.  It's more like how our lives and choices affect others, what we hope for, and how faith can inform the choices we make.

The message isn't particularly powerful, the lessons aren't particularly deep, and the writing isn't particularly compelling or artful.  But Albom tells a nice story, sure to be enjoyed by many.

Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

Lego Space, by Peter Reid and Tim Goddard

Fans of Legos will love this book, especially those who like to break away from the pre-packaged Lego selections.  Peter Reid and Tim Goddard have put together a sort of future history, chronicling man's forays into space exploration and colonization, starting from Sputnik ranging centuries into the future.  The future history lesson is illustrated with scenes built from Legos, and accompanied by instructions on how to build many (though certainly not all) of the ships and robots featured in the story.

The story isn't ground-breaking sci-fi, but it's fun to have a story to go along with the fabulous Lego creations.  Your Lego builders will be inspired to try out some of the projects in the book, and maybe add some ideas of their own.

(A word on the version viewed: On my black-and-white Kindle, I could not see the building instruction pages.  I was able to view using Adobe Digital Editions on my iMac.  I don't know how well the book could be viewed on a color Kindle or iPad.)





Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

Explore Everything: Place-Hacking the City, by Bradley Garrett

Does everyone have a longing to go past those "restricted entry" signs, "authorized access only" barriers, the "no trespassing"signs?  Maybe not everyone, but it seems like there is a basic human desire to cross boundaries, to explore unknown and forbidden places, and to find untouched locations.  However, most of us, either out of respect for private property and the rule of law, or out of timidity and caution, stay safely within prescribed boundaries.

Bradley Garrett, a researcher at the Oxford University School of Geography and the Environment, spent several years hanging out with urban explorers, guys (mostly guys; there are a few female urban explorers), sneaking into closed down buildings, sewers, abandoned Tube stations, construction sites, skyscrapers, and other closed off and forbidden locations.  He tells the stories of their adventures, discoveries, and misadventures in Explore Everything: Place-Hakcing the City.

For Garrett and his UE buddies, urban exploration, or place-hacking, is not a juvenile thrill-seeking, but "taking back rights to the city from which we have been wrongfully restricted," protesting the "increased securitisation"of public places, about "going places you're not supposed to go, seeing places you're not supposed to see."  They see urban exploration as a "more tantalising option"than "the mall and the television screen," and a way to find alternatives to "state-mediated historical interpretation."

One the one hand, Garrett's tales of UE make me curious, not just about the places he visits, but about my own city as well.  What might I discover underground, or in some abandoned buildings, or in a construction site?  How difficult would it be to on top of Fort Worth's tallest buildings?  On the other hand, I believe that private property should be respected, that liability in the case of injury of death should be acknowledged, and that sometimes doors are locked and "No trespassing" signs are there for a very good reason.

Garrett does take pains to point out that urban explorers do not damage property, do not steal from or vandalize places they hack, and as a rule follow a "leave no trace" ethic similar to hikers.  The one thing they do take is a lot of pictures.  The pictures are awesome, mostly from the tops of buildings or underground.  They looked OK on my basic kindle, but I would encourage to get the physical book, view them on a color reader, or visit his web site (http://www.placehacking.co.uk) where he posts pictures of his explorations.

Even with Garrett's academic, philosophical descriptions of the activities and motives of urban explorers, I still saw a bunch of thrill-seeking young guys thumbing their noses at "the man." For all of their "working to create more democratic relationships to space in the context of an often dehumanizing global capitalist system," they come across as kids getting a kick out of going where they know they're not supposed to go.  But they do take great pictures, don't damage or destroy the places the visit, and, I have to admit, tempt me to do some sneaking around myself.

Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

Die Trying, by Lee Child

Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Jack Reacher just happens to be in Chicago and runs into an FBI agent just as she is snatched off the street by some mysterious bad guys.  She's the target of the kidnapping.  Besides being an FBI agent, she also happens to be the daughter of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff of the Armed Forces.
Talk about being in the right place at the right time.  Jack Reacher is kidnapped along with an FBI agent, and as a result, infiltrates a radical militia group and saves the day, thwarting the plans of the insane militia leader.  If you know Jack Reacher, you know that he overcomes impossible odds, outwits the cleverest foes, shoots like the best marksmen, and manages to hook up with the most beautiful women.  So it won't surprise you that he does all that in more in Die Trying.

Even after reading only two Jack Reacher books and seeing the movie Jack Reacher, I am coming to see Lee Child's formula.  But just because something is formulaic doesn't mean it doesn't work.  Child puts together a somewhat implausible plot with Reacher's quite expertise and determination to create a page-turner.  The action is well-written, with lots of technical and strategic detail.  The Montana Militia theme seems sort of dated, even though this was just published in 1998.  Are those guys still around?  And does Child unfairly depict them as sociopathic megalomaniacs?  Well, it is fiction after all.

Pick up Die Trying, or any Reacher novel for that matter, for a fun-to-read, action packed tough guy novel.  A guaranteed testosterone boost.